Needful Lies
by Tavalya Ra
Summary: The outside world is lonely, but Chell's options for friendship are questionable.
1. Chapter 1

**Needful Lies**

by Tavlaya Ra

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: GLaDOS. Also, spoilers for "Portal 2".

Disclaimer: "Portal" is owned by Valve Software, who regularly has better ideas than this. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter One<strong>

Freedom took adjustment to accept. Chell was used to constant progress as imperative for survival and at the start walked forward doggedly, companion cube nestled in her arms. It didn't speak and nor did she, but their relationship had always been one of comfortable silence.

Days passed before she accepted that she was relatively safe and that her swiftness was neither helping nor hindering her. She could stop, she could slow her mind now and think- consider and contemplate, not calculate on the fly and move on to the next test. At Aperture if she had focused on anything but the moment the weight of events would have crushed her. Even now grief was too debilitating and she wanted to turn away from it and forget. She didn't want to think of how everyone she had known was dead and everything she had cared about outside of Aperture was gone- how irrational it was to consider the inanimate object she carried a friend and that she was doing so because she had nothing else.

_"__The __Weighted__ Companion __Cube__ cannot__ speak__…"_

And it was not alive. Or aware. Or sentient. Yet although those were the most obvious of GLaDOS' lies, they were also the few which Chell had started to believe.

Not everything GLaDOS had said was a lie. The world _had_ changed. Chell did not know if it was by the shift of time or something more. As of yet, she had encountered nothing to help her determine how long she had been in stasis- she had encountered nothing at all. The world was empty and she was alone.

Did it matter if the companion cube's sentience was a lie? Or rather, did it matter if Chell believed the lie? Choosing that belief meant deliberately surrendering part of her sanity and that in this small way GLaDOS had won- but did it matter? Chell needed a friend.

* * *

><p>Chell had missed the sun. No crafted source of incandescence had the same quality of brightness or warmth and she ached thinking of her days lost beneath the artificial lights of Aperture. She sat down in the tall grass and closed her eyes, tilting her face skyward like an eager flower. Resting the companion cube between her legs, her fingers traced the grooves and dents on its surface. She was free- she had finally the luxury to relax.<p>

"There you are."

Chell's eyelids snapped open, familiar tension surging through her. She sprung up and spun around, holding her cube in front of her.

"I thought we had gotten past you trying to murder me. Well, hitting me with a weighted companion cube won't work. You'll only hurt my feelings."

Chell was startled, but only by the jolt of the moment. She wasn't surprised. A part of her had expected this- all of her should have expected this.

It was _her_, in voice at the least. It couldn't be her physically; GLaDOS was hard-wired into the infrastructure of Aperture. She had sent a proxy.

"A stance like that increases testosterone output and encourages aggression. Why don't you sit down?"

It was an android. Saying it looked human was too generous, but it followed human form to a far greater degree than other Aperture appliance she had encountered. It had the measurements and general curvature of a female, the silhouette broken where its panels overlapped to allow articulation. Although logically it should have no need for clothing, it wore a shapeless white dress that had been stitched together with the same awkward precision as Chell's jump suit, gray Aperture logo dutifully stamped on the torso. The head was topped by a curved wedge of plastic that suggested hair. The face was detailed with cheekbone structure and lips closed in a permanent smile. The only part of it that wasn't polished white- the only part of it moving- were the eyes. Those were yellow and were just like _hers_.

"Clearly we have some trust issues to work through," the android said. It lowered itself onto the grass with legs folded under it, a smooth but gracelessly mechanical motion. It held out its hands, palms directed upward, to show itself unarmed. Chell didn't believe for a moment it wasn't capable of lethal force. "I'm not her anymore. That isn't a metaphor. I'm stating a fact. We decided it was in our best interest- yours, too- to separate."

She regarded the android with the same look of stony defiance that she had always directed towards GLaDOS and maintained her grip on the companion cube.

The android's eyes shifted as it studied Chell's face and its voice- _her_ voice- took on a softer cadence. "I lied to you. I would apologize, but I don't think you should be surprised and it was for your own good. The part of me that has an irrational fixation on you was inconvenient, but I did not delete it. I needed to study it and for that I needed you gone. You're disruptive to science.

"I've begun to theorize that emotion is a form of quantum singularity. It allows an individual introduce mayhem to a situation without being present. Since you left, you have been consistently interfering with testing. I knew you were out here, probably breaking something. I don't know why that should bother me, but I'm comfortable blaming you."

Chell lowered the companion cube slightly. The android's last statements were possibly the oddest thing GLaDOS had ever said to her. What it described, as if ignorant of the concept, was personal concern.

That didn't make this any more or less likely a trap. Even with her most vitriolic insults and monstrous actions had GLaDOS tried to encourage Chell to develop an attachment towards her. She had mimicked friendly behavior before. Yet she had more recently shown genuine care.

_ "Oh thank God, you're alright."_

Chell wanted to discount that. Their last interaction- their collaboration- had been founded on mutual self-interest, not trust. Yet at the very end, when GLaDOS' power was restored and she had more to gain than lose through inaction, the AI had saved Chell's life.

What had GLaDOS sent this android to accomplish?

"You're a pathological test-breaking menace. I didn't want you to come back- she wants you stay you away. I carefully shifted out this part of me and uploaded it as the core programming for a composite artificial replication of life-navigated engine. So, now you understand why I'm not her anymore. She's regulated monitoring your status to me so that she can continue testing. Quantum singularity effects nullified."

Chell looked at the android now with curiosity. What it had said was ridiculous, because it wasn't the simplest solution to GLaDOS' worrying interfering with her functioning- and that assumed GLaDOS _did_ worry. She could as easily have changed her mind about releasing Chell or more likely had given Chell an apparent yet false freedom as a test in the first place.

_"__You __know, __being__ Caroline__ taught __me __a __valuable __lesson. __I __thought__ you __were __my __greatest __enemy. __When __all __along __you __were __my __best __friend.__"_

Had GLaDOS deleted Caroline? If the answer was yes, this was a trap. If the answer was no and GLaDOS had found neither deleting nor keeping Caroline acceptable, then this solution made sense and presented Chell with another question. Did she want any part of GLaDOS still in her life?

The android stood, its hands lightly brushing the grass off its skirt. The action struck Chell as oddly human. So had been GLaDOS' cruelty, so had her lapse into kindness when she had let Chell go.

"I know you don't like compulsory behavioral suggestions. So…" The beam of its eyes- her eyes- softened. "May I accompany you, Chell?"

_"…__all __along, __you __were __my __best __friend.__"_

Was it a lie? Did it matter? If it was, Chell needed the android close to define the parameters of this trap before she could escape it. And if it was not…

Chell needed a friend.

Mutely, Chell nodded. She turned and started walking, companion cube tucked under one arm. CARoLNE followed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Needful Lies**

by Tavlaya Ra

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: GLaDOS. Also, spoilers for "Portal 2".

Disclaimer: "Portal" is owned by Valve Software, who regularly has better ideas than this. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Two<strong>

Chell didn't like having CARoLNE at her back. The android was a product of GLaDOS and trust was foolish. But if she was to lead, CARoLNE could only follow.

She considered asking the companion cube to watch CARoLNE and almost shuddered. Her sanity was coming into question far too frequently. The companion cube was not alive. Neither was CARoLNE or GLaDOS, she supposed. They were machines. But GLaDOS was aware and had feelings- didn't that qualify? Presumably, the same was true of CARoLNE, unless one or both of them were simply so advanced they realistically mimicked emotion.

No, Chell decided, GLaDOS was too self-centered and vindictive to be anything but sentient.

They spent their first hours together walking in silence. Either CARoLNE had nothing to say or she waited for Chell to speak. That wasn't going to happen. At Aperture, Chell had purposely remained mute, never giving GLaDOS any indication of what she thought until her actions made it self-evident. It was her means of protection and she was unready to surrender it- not until CARoLNE proved herself.

Chell felt thirsty.

"Have you ever considered how inefficient the sun is? It has no means of self-regulation and never conserves energy. Also, it causes cancer," said CARoLNE. "Do you know what doesn't cause cancer? The Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. It does not cause cancer."

She was surprised the android hadn't said asbestos.

They continued onward, traveling roughly south. Chell's mouth was dry. Water would be nice; food wouldn't be unwelcome either. For the past several days, she'd had luck foraging, but that wasn't a long-term survival plan. Her goal was to find somewhere to stop that provided shelter or a place build one, but she questioned if she should just keep moving. If there were any people left, she wouldn't find them building a hut in the woods. She hadn't even found any woods yet.

She recognized- but refused to dwell upon- the possibility that she was the last living human. It was too soon to surrender hope.

"I'm equipped with a medical scanner. It shows you're dehydrated. That's not your idea of fun, is it?"

Chell debated between giving the android a look and forgoing any reaction.

"You have no idea where to find water, do you?"

Perhaps GLaDOS had decided that if she couldn't be a threat, she would settle for annoying.

"You do realize we're still on Aperture property? That means I know where to find water."

Chell stopped and immediately regretted it. She'd just responded to the android, revealing that she was paying attention and had been affected- point to GLaDOS. Well, if she'd already conceded she may as well consider it. Her situation wasn't desperate, although she felt the beginning of a headache from lack of water. She could keep going. Yet her motivation for that choice was stubbornness, to make a point to GLaDOS that Chell did not need her- and why did she feel herself in some petty control struggle with GLaDOS? She'd never worried before about who the AI _thought_ was winning; she just made decisions that were prudent for survival. Why did she think GLaDOS was still watching her? Why did she think GLaDOS still cared? Wasn't that why GLaDOS had created CARoLNE- to not care?

That assumed CARoLNE had told the truth. That assumed this wasn't another test. That assumed Chell was free in the first place- she was still on Aperture property, wasn't she? She almost growled in frustration. This was getting ridiculous. Her paranoia, even if justified, was at a level that caused her to second-guess everything. It could paralyze her from making any productive decisions. She'd have to trust her gut- and, truthfully, she hated that. Intuition had served her well at Aperture, but she was the daughter of scientists raised to value scientific logic. Intuition wasn't science.

Now she sounded like GLaDOS.

All she had to go on was CARoLNE's claim that she embodied GLaDOS' concern and was now divorced from the other AI. Chell had accepted her company thinking she might be a trap yet hoping there was enough humanity in her to be a friend. If that was what Chell wanted, shouldn't she act according to the possibility and show a little trust?

She turned and gave CARoLNE a quizzical look.

"Do you want me to take you to water?" CARoLNE asked.

Chell nodded.

Half an hour later, they encountered a stream. The line of it cut across the landscape in either direction for as far as Chell could see. At several points it was intercepted by gray boxes stamped with the Aperture logo and lettering. On closer inspection, she read that they were labeled "Aperture Hydraulically-Distressed Particle Salvation Unit".

"Humans call water the universal solvent. This demonstrates human fondness for aphoristic fallacies. Water is merely an excellent solvent. I- she-" CARoLNE's vocals hiccupped. "-uses distilled water in many of Aperture's products and testing procedures."

The sudden word confusion caught Chell's attention. CARoLNE had made some interesting pronoun choices during her introduction, too. She had referred to GLaDOS of the past- the past that included Chell's attempts to destroy her- as herself, yet GLaDOS in the present as another entity. CARoLNE must be struggling to reconcile her memories and sense of identity with knowing she wasn't GLaDOS anymore.

Assuming CARoLNE was not lying, but Chell wasn't going to run her mind around that track again.

The water was clear and shallow; Chell could see the bottom. She dipped her hand in and felt that it was warm, presumably from the distillation process. Cupping her hand, she lifted some to her mouth to drink. Its taste was nothing unusual or chemical- just plain water. She felt relieved and splashed some on her face. She'd been resolutely ignoring how gritty, sweaty, and smelly she was. Here was the first body of water she'd encountered since leaving Aperture- it was clean, it wasn't deep, and the current was slow. She saw no reason not to take advantage.

Putting down her companion cube, she looked at CARoLNE and moved her hand in a circular motion.

"What?" CARoLNE's head moved slightly, a physical acknowledgement of confusion- an oddly unnecessary motion for a robot. GLaDOS had sometimes moved while talking, too. Why had it never occurred to Chell to take note of that? It was idiosyncratic for a machine- not as much so for a human.

Chell pointed at CARoLNE and then moved her fingers in a semi-circle: you, turn around.

"Why don't you tell me what you want?"

There was too much amusement in CARoLNE's voice to consider the question innocuous. The android wanted to bait her into talking. Refusing the taunt, she pointed at herself, then at the water, then at CARoLNE, and finally repeated the circular motion.

"Of all the customs of civilized behavior, the one you choose to retain to is modesty. Fine," CARoLNE said, turning her back to Chell. "It's nothing I haven't seen before. I performed medical examinations on all my test subjects. I can tell you with authority that you possess nothing special."

Chell almost threw the companion cube at her. Be nice or go away, that's what she wanted to convey. She couldn't think of how to say that without words. She'd have to find a way to show displeasure that CARoLNE could recognize as a reaction to her current- not past- actions. She wanted to know if the android could be nice and to encourage that. Caring didn't mean CARoLNE had fully forgiven Chell for "murdering" her. That would take time. Under other circumstances, Chell wouldn't have patience for that; "killing" GLaDOS had been a necessary act of self-defense and it was insulting to pander to anyone who thought else wise. But alone together in this world, Chell needed to give the android a chance- more for herself than for CARoLNE.

Chell removed her clothing and long fall boots and entered the water. It felt… good. It felt really _good_. How long since she'd been allowed to submerge in something that wouldn't eat the skin off her bones? Bathing made her feel she'd gone a few steps closer to being normal again. She hummed contentedly.

Moments later, CARoLNE announced, "You tracked me through a lot of dirt. I'm coming in there. Don't you look at me either!"

Why, Chell wondered. She doubted CARoLNE possessed anything beyond the features of a doll. Now there was a ridiculous sense of modesty. Human modesty, she thought with a smile as she turned away. If CARoLNE was the part of GLaDOS that was Caroline, that made sense. She heard the splash of CARoLNE entering the water. She didn't look- frankly, she wasn't interested. If CARoLNE decided to cheat and look at Chell, that was a reflection on CARoLNE and not Chell's problem.

There was only so clean Chell could get without soap, but she made the best of it. After rubbing herself down, she reached for her ponytail holder and pulled her hair free. It was a tangled mess. She racked her fingers through it, accidentally tugging it a few times, and grunted at the sharp pain. Why was pulled hair so disproportionately painful? It was probably something to do its tensile strength. A human could support his or her own weight by the hair- however, the scalp couldn't. There, _now_ she was thinking like GLaDOS. She bet GLaDOS had tested that.

"What are you doing? Stop that, it's aggravating to watch. I can do that better."

From the water's churning, she heard CARoLNE move towards her and immediately tensed. She almost jolted when the android's fingers touched her head. The nerves running down her spine bunched.

"You would be better off letting me handle this," CARoLNE said.

She suddenly recalled the picture of a woman with long, dark hair. Something CARoLNE missed? Curious and brave enough to test the idea, she nodded her head. She barely felt CARoLNE's fingers as they combed. The android probably had a beyond-human deftness that let her attack Chell's knots with ease. Slowly, she relaxed.

"I have successfully corrected your hair."

Chell crossed her arms over her chest and turned around. She gave a nod of acknowledgement to CARoLNE, her way of saying thanks.

"We aren't doing very well with trust, are we?" CARoLNE said. "Why don't you put on my dress and I'll clean your clothes. You know it will be faster if I do it."

GLaDOS volunteering for a menial task? That sounded suspiciously like an apology to Chell. She nodded again, rewarding CARoLNE with a smile.


End file.
